Sunday, May 20, 2012

Taking Those First Steps

I learned two things about myself this morning. One thing being that it really is okay to be proud of myself for small things. I have a bad habit of not giving myself “enough credit” as some who know me would put it. I can be very hard on myself, but this morning I felt a moment of clarity. I felt something stir inside me at such a random moment that just told me, it’s okay to be proud of myself for the positive progress I continue to make in life. Regardless of how big or small each step along the way is. As long as I’ve accomplished something to push me to my big goal, I can hold my head up high and feel good about myself for actually doing something.

The other thing I learned was that I actually like to take walks alone. Yep, I did it finally. Shortly after 6:00am I felt the urge that couldn’t be held back. Since the sun was up enough that I could see outside, I changed from my pajamas and tossed on my new balance shoes. I grabbed my camera, stuffed it in my pants pocket and headed out the door. I only paused a couple times to take a picture on my venture out.  Of course one of which was at start of the portion of a trail I opted to take. It’s not really that long, from one street down behind some houses to the next street, a block long if that. Anyways, there was nobody else on the path and I just found myself completely alone and loving it.

Sounds of nature filled my ears on my early morning walk. I found myself actually enjoying the sounds of birds chirping, squirrels rustling in bushes and trees. It was peaceful. It was relaxing and I felt like I could just think clearly. It was a little buggy given all the plant life along the trail, but nothing intolerable. Only once did I feel maybe I should turn back, but in that moment I was considering it I saw the end of the trail and pushed to continue. It was like seeing the finish line or something. I had to cross it. I had to make it that far, before I could allow myself to turn around and make the walk all the way home. I felt accomplished reaching that point of the trail and still feeling good enough to walk home. Now really, as cliché as this may sound – there’s a part of me that strongly feels like I just took the first steps down a better path for my life today.

Logically I know this was only day one. If I want to continue to feel proud of myself I will need to walk again tomorrow, then the next day and the next after that. Weather permitting of course, but if it’s bad for a day then I must get on the exercise bike I have free access too. I must keep up with being more active for myself. I must keep myself determined and focused to continue on this path to getting healthier. Walking is just the start and today, I proudly share that I took those first steps I needed to. I finally got off my butt and took that much needed initiative.

--XOXO, Jan

I just found out that the portion of the trail I took is approximately ½ a mile long. So in total I walked approximately a mile, plus whatever steps it took me to get from my home to the trail and back from it.